


Then along the bending path away

by hopefor46



Category: Crooked Media RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-19
Updated: 2018-12-19
Packaged: 2019-09-22 22:12:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17068106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hopefor46/pseuds/hopefor46
Summary: At Oxford, Ronan and Lovett look back and look ahead.





	Then along the bending path away

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by Anonymous in the [psa_2018](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/psa_2018) collection. 



“You know, Christopher Isherwood once said...”

“You’re drunk,” Lovett says, but he’s laughing.

Ronan tucks his arm tighter over Lovett’s shoulder, the way he likes, the way that he feels most secure. They’re making their way back from Magdalen to the room the college provided for Ronan to stay in as a guest. He had been hoping for one along his old hallway, but it wasn’t possible, the schedulers at Oxford inflexible as usual. So they had to settle for another quad.

Not that it mattered much to Ronan in the end; Lovett knew he was glad not to put it off any longer. The timing of his defense couldn’t have been worse, but to have it done was still satisfying.

The celebratory dinner cleared, the wine poured, now he has Ronan all to himself—a more common occurrence these days, for which he’s grateful.

They’re approaching an archway that looks familiar.

“Wait,” Lovett says. “I think this is my old one.”

“Really?”

“Maybe. Let’s poke our heads in.” Lovett should remember it better, but college was a long time ago—and when he came to visit Ronan, they didn’t see much of the outside.

Sure enough, it’s the same brick building, the same British hedge taking up most of the quad, unlike most of the colleges.

Lovett rocks back on his heels, looking. He nearly loses his balance when Ronan starts to pull him towards the center.

“Into the hedge?” Ronan smirks, but Lovett goes willingly.

No sooner have they ducked into the maze that Ronan is pressing him back into the hawthorn and hazel, surprising prickles at his back, Lovett feeling his mouth open as if on instinct. One of Ronan’s hands is gripping his arm, his thumb running over the muscle, the other pulling Lovett’s head into his, as if Lovett is going to resist, as if he isn’t so into this it makes him dizzy.

Finally they break for air.

“A fantasy of yours?” Lovett jokes. Thinking: _Talk about tame_ and at the same time: _How long have you_ and _Did you know._

Ronan looks down, absorbing. He looks so beautiful. It still catches him off guard sometimes.

“I can’t _believe_ you’re here,” Ronan says, face bright as a coin, the same smile as when they handed him the folio and everyone clapped.

“Well, on California time it’s not that late,” Lovett jokes. Thinks better of it. “I always promised I would.”

“You did,” he says eagerly. Mischief in his eyes mixed with the longing. “What if I just—“ Ronan lets go of Lovett’s arm to pull him in by the waist. His other hand snakes down into Lovett’s pants. It sends a jolt through both of them when he finds destination.

“Oh God,” Lovett says, abruptly aware that he could be overheard. He tries to whisper. “What if we get caught?”

“Just—a minute,” Ronan says, voice tight. His grip is slow and regular and Lovett stifles a cry.

It’s _so good,_ but Lovett can’t relax into it. It’s dark here, but is it dark enough? The cameras. The spies. The fucking Mossad.

Ronan can tell he’s tense, the kind of tense where you’re rushing away from the cliff, not towards. His hand slows.

“Lo?”

“—Sorry,” he mutters. “I just, I—”

“It’s okay,” Ronan says, pulling his hand away.

“You, I—”

“Always looking out for me.” Ronan kisses the apple of his cheek. “You old crone.” His hand finds Lovett’s again. “Later?”

Lovett nods.

 

Later turns to soon as Ronan drags him back through the lamplight. The room Oxford provided is a leftover student room with 2 single beds, and crowding into one made Lovett think of college, and his old boyfriend, strange but not unpleasant. But then Ronan pulled Lovett over him and sealed his mouth to his neck, and…

In the rush they forgot to open their celebratory bottle of wine, so instead Lovett uncorks it while Ronan’s still panting, naked and open on the bed, his body cool in the moonlight.

“Was it like this with him?” Ronan smiles. “Your college guy?”

Frank. Frank who caught Lovett’s eye from the first day of orientation, Lovett pacing himself, asking _Am I really into a_ Frank _? Is that how this is going to go?_ This being… being out. Dating men. Making moves.

Wanting to and the actual doing of it not being the same thing, at all. But he’d known that as soon as he got to Williams and met guys who had been out for years, who had had boyfriends and hookups and other nebulous _things_ Lovett couldn’t imagine. Citizens of another realm, while he was scrambling for his passport.

“Not really.”

Ronan’s eyes lock on his, but they are only kind. Of course he knew better than most what it was like to feel undergrown, like you’d missed a few milestones on the path to adulthood.

“The twin bed, sure,” Lovett jokes. With Ronan they could laugh about the banged elbows and narrow metal rails, a piece of furniture built for celibacy, or loneliness. With Frank Lovett was always trying to look comfortable; he didn’t want him to ask. The first time he was so self-conscious he almost didn’t get off, which was probably what kept him from going completely limp and overwhelmed when Frank put his mouth on him. The sensation of having firsts, and thinking to himself: _This is it, and this_ , without ever betraying the thought. 

Frank probably figured it out anyway. It wasn’t like Lovett was the only late bloomer on campus. And he was patient, to a fault.

“Ever make out in a hedge?”

“Outside a pub, maybe,” Lovett says as they tap their plastic cups together. “Had to get drunk enough to not feel like—”

“Like what?”

“Like everyone was watching us.”

He hadn’t talked to Spencer about it until they were back in the U.S. months and months later, after Frank had promised to stay in touch and then melted away. (Even that was new to Lovett—having to be the one who breaks up. Disappointing someone. He felt that he could have been better at it with practice, but this was his practice.)

Spencer squinted at him a second and said, “That all? I mean, we all knew that.” Lovett’s cheeks burned with shame, imagining himself the subject of gossip, the names he’d be called—but Spencer added, “Not like that. I mean, a bunch of people,” and he waved his hand and raised his eyebrows as if to say—you’re not _that_ special, _God_ —and then they were running down all the program hookups like it was normal. Like Lovett’s thing was—just a thing that happened.

Ronan sits up and leans into him heavy, runs his hand up and down Lovett’s side. Lets it wander onto his chest.

“Wish it was me,” he mumbles. Lovett looks down at his blond hair, all mussed up from the pillow. He knows Ronan likes to believe that it was all fated, that they were supposed to find each other. Lovett doesn't believe in fate, but he does believe in Ronan.

“Shhh-hhh,” Lovett says. “We did that thing at the pub. That one time.”

“Oh God,” Ronan says, hiding his face in Lovett’s chest. It was on a visit where Lovett found Ronan out drinking with his cohort. They hadn’t made it back to the quad, not right away.

“No more bar bathrooms now we’re both in our thirties.”

“Hmmmm.”

“Fine, have your party for one in there.” Ronan giggles against Lovett’s chest. “I prefer the hedge anyway.”

He looks up at Lovett, eyes shining.

"And I think  _you_ prefer the bed," Lovett poking him in the chest, remembering ten minutes ago when Ronan was moaning his name and bucking up into his mouth. The way he pulled Lovett's hair and sang his name out as he came. 

"With you in it." 

“We should sleep,” Lovett says finally. But neither of them moves.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Ronan did call Lovett an "old crone" on Instagram once. 
> 
>  
> 
> **Original Prompt:**
> 
>  
> 
> lovett visits ronan while he's working on his phd at oxford, and looks back on his college-aged self and that first relationship he had while he was at oxford. bonus points for mentioning spencer!


End file.
